Resignation
by firedancer34
Summary: Set at the end of 4X11. During the 'Shots' scene the Savior comes to the dark realization that their lives will never be their own unless she takes drastic action. Rated M for Dark Content/Theme
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey everyone...still working out some demons and this is what my muse kicked out. For now this is a one-shot and can stand on it's own. But there may be a possibility for it to be continued. Set at the end of 4X11 with some changes obviously.**

**CONTENT WARNING: Dark and disturbing content ahead. Suicide & character death (implied). Also mild f/f implied feels.**

**I don't own any of these characters or make money off this yadda yadda yadda.**

**SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSSQQSQS**

Emma gently resettled Killian's heart into his chest and he exhaled in relief as she withdrew her hand and everything finally felt right. Opening his eyes he looked up at her with a warm smile and started to lean in but the tears in her eyes and the sadness in her face as she turned her head made him draw back.

"Love…you know I couldn't help myself…right?" he pleaded.

"I know Killian. I could see how hard you were fighting it," she told him hoarsely as a few tears streaked down her face.

"Swan, I would never willing betray you."

"I know. But my life….this is what my life has become now. Everyone I love and care about- you will always be targets and pawns to be used against me when the next villain rolls into town. I- I can't take this anymore," she choked out.

"Emma, please love…don't do this."

She sniffed, wiped her tears and then squared her shoulders and finally met his gaze and he knew the battle was lost before he'd even been given a chance to fight. "No Killian. It has to be this way. I'm sorry."

And with that she turned and left him alone in the hallway and made her way down to the diner in desperate need of a drink or five. She wasn't surprised to see Regina sitting there, silently brooding over her own personal losses that day and decided to try and make her peace with the woman one last time. No more pleading or begging for forgiveness. She was Emma fucking Swan the god-damned Savior and she didn't win Regina's respect before by being weak.

As she settled onto the stool next to Regina, the brunette sighed. "I'm not in the mood for the hope speech Emma," she told her tiredly.

"You're mistaking me with my mother," Emma retorted in an equally defeated tone. "You don't need a speech. You need a drinking buddy. Shots?"

A perfect eyebrow arched in her direction, but a hint of the older woman's smirk played on her face as she studied the blonde. "Sure, why not?" she finally agreed.

As they waited for their drinks, Emma couldn't help but tell her, "You know you did the right thing today."

The brunette huffed in irritation. "And there it is…a hope speech! I thought we were drinking."

"It's not a hope speech it's a compliment," Emma told her with an eye roll and then let the subject drop as the shotglasses were dropped in front of them and Ruby poured. "Rubes…leave the bottle," Emma requested before the waitress retreated.

She raised a concerned eyebrow. "You ok?"

"It's be a long fucking day….actually it's been a long fucking four years…so no I'm not ok. WE are not ok. So please just leave us the bottle."

"Keys first then, Ems."

The blonde scowled but she tossed them onto the counter without protest. Ruby frowned at the lack of protest and even Regina was looking at her funny. "If plan on getting plastered with her then yours too Regina," Ruby demanded firmly.

Regina balked, but now it was Emma's turn to look at her pointedly. "So you gonna be my drinking buddy or what?"

"While I don't plan on getting completely hammered, I will agree to relinquish my keys to be safe," Regina finally acquiesced as she dropped her own keys onto the counter.

"Just don't wreak….magical havoc or something in here once you start getting trashed."

Two shots in Regina finally broke their comfortable silence. "So why are you here drinking with the Evil Queen and not cozying up to Captain Guyliner?"

"You aren't the Evil Queen anymore Regina. Cut yourself some slack. As for Killian…I broke it off tonight," was the blunt answer.

Regina blinked. "Why?" she asked in surprise.

Emma poured them both another set of shots and knocked hers back. "Because everyone I ever get close to is just something to be used against me when the bad shit goes down. Our son, my parents, Hook…." there was a long pause before she whispered Neal's name. Her jaw tightened as she poured herself another shot but she didn't pound this one just yet, just stared into it lost in deep thought.

Regina hummed in understanding and knocked her own shot back and re-poured and contemplated her own glass. She'd started to believe that the villains didn't ever get their happy endings- especially after today. She'd never given thought to the fact that the one person who was supposedly responsible for giving them all their happy endings, would likely never see her own. Emma had been forced to fight tooth and nail for every little bit of happiness that she had in her life right now. But every time a threat popped up, all that happiness was immediately threatened and more often than not barely survived. What kind of fucked up world did they live in?

"We're all just pawns in one giant fucked up story," Emma said darkly, echoing Regina's thoughts.

"Do you really believe that?" Regina asked, fearing the answer. If the Savior believed it then she was really screwed.

"Think about it- everything in our lives have been manipulated. Yours, mine, all these people," she waved absently at the other patrons who were obviously trying to pretend they weren't listening but from the disturbed looks on their faces they were. "Hell…I think even Rumple is just another damn chess piece on someone's board. When that fucking book turned back up, I almost wanted to burn it," she admitted.

"Trust me, it doesn't work," Regina grumbled, pouring herself another shot.

"You tried?" Emma asked, curious.

"Everything. I dynamited the damn thing and the next morning Henry came downstairs with it."

Emma stared at her and then laughed a little hysterically and raised the shot she had in her hand. "To chess!" she toasted.

And somehow, in her morbid and buzzed state it was funny to Regina. She joined in the disturbed laughing and clinked her glass to Emma's as they tossed their shots back. Ruby came over and eyed them warily, not liking the turn their conversation had taken. She slid two glasses of water and pitcher of it in front of them. "How about you two pace yourselves bit hmm?" she suggested firmly.

She left them after they just glared back at her, but not before she took their bottle away after Emma had refilled their shot glasses one last time. "So are you the Black King or the Black Queen?" Emma asked Regina.

"Well since Rumple has his limitations due to the dagger, but his power is greater than mine, I will gladly concede to being the Queen. If I fall, he will too."

"So what does that make me? A Rook? A knight?"

"You, my dear, are my counterpart."

"A Queen? Me?" Emma snorted. "Yeah right."

"David is a tool….a knight at best. Your mother is the King. Why do you think it was your father who was the one to make the sacrifice? It wasn't just because Snow was pregnant."

Emma thought about that. "Well she definitely IS the one who wears the pants in that relationship," Emma admitted with a snort. Regina just smirked knowingly.

"Face it. Snow is the White King and you as the Savior are the Queen. You and I both have the latitude to move in any direction, and really….every good game of chess is nothing without the Queens."

"Huh."

Emma was silent a long time after that staring at her last shot as the humor of the whole situation slowly left her. Just when Regina was about to ask he what was on her mind again Emma looked up at her with a strange look in her eyes. "I don't know if I ever told you Regina, but I want you to know that you are pretty much everything I could have hoped for as a mother when I gave my son up for adoption."

Regina's head pulled back in confusion. Where the hell had that come from?

"I know you and he had your rough patches, and yeah…there was the whole Evil Queen thing. But all I ever wanted for Henry was for him to have a good home, a place where he had friends and someone who loved him. If there is one thing you have proven time and again, it's that you love him with everything you have and will stop at nothing to keep him safe. Thank you for giving Henry that."

"Emma?" she asked, a niggling of worry in the back of her brain, cutting through the haze of her alcohol buzz.

She tossed back her drink stood up on far steadier legs than Regina would have thought and then reached into her back pocket to pull out her wallet as she dropped all the money in her wallet on the counter.

There was a glimpse of black carbon steel in its holster under Emma's coat and Regina frowned. Why was Emma still wearing her gun? And then the conversation, Emma's words…it all fell into place and shocked her sober.

"Emma-" she started, setting her drink down as she clamped her hand down on Emma's arm.

Emma just gave her a sad smile and then did something that shocked everyone. She stepped into Regina's personal space, and raised a hand to brush through her hair. "All this time we kept losing everyone else around us and it kind of just hit me. Everyone else could be used against us because they can't protect themselves. Not you or I though-we made a hell of a team. But you and I can only take so much before we will break and that could be disasterous for everyone. It's time I ended this game one and for all so everyone can go on with their lives," she said in a quiet voice that was so steady it unnerved even the blonde.

"No Emma, don't do this," Regina whispered hoarsely, afraid to let go of her hold on the woman in front of her. The diner was deathly silent, as everyone watched the tense interaction. They had all been witness to the Savior's dark musings, and now they watched the most hardened woman they knew, break down in tears and desperately plead with the blonde.

Emma closed her eyes and then everyone found themselves frozen in place…including Regina. She turned her body and looked at those in the diner. Ruby, Archie, Leroy, Granny, and several others that she recognized stared at her in mute horror. She met their eyes, knowing that this had to be done…for her and for them. They'd all had their lives threatened because of her and it was time for that to stop.

She looked back at Regina and gave her a watery smile of her own. "You were always the better choice of a mother. Take care of Henry and tell him…tell him I loved him….so much. I'm sorry it has to be this way. And Regina? You were never a monster….just lost. They could never understand what you went through, but I do." She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Regina's forehead. Forgiveness, acceptance, and a goodbye all wrapped in one affectionate gesture. Tears streamed down Regina's cheeks as she struggled to break the Savior's hold on her and Emma knew she couldn't hold her for much longer.

So she stepped back, drew herself straight and looked around the room one last time before she released her hold on everyone. "Emma, NO!" Regina screamed as she launched herself at the blonde but the younger woman was already gone in a puff of white smoke.

**ESESESESESESESESESRMRMRMRMRMRMMRRMR**

Emma materialized in the small meadow deep in the woods that she had found during her early days in Storybrooke. It was a place she had often retreated to over the years when she'd wanted some time to herself to think in peace. Unfortunately, it had been an area that the damned Snow Queen had taken over during her little reign of terror. Emma was relieved to see that it had been restored to its natural state upon the woman's death.

Finding her favorite tree, Emma settled herself against the base and looked up at the moon. It would be full in another few nights. She pulled her gun out and stared down at it, lost in her own thoughts for a little while. So many people had lost so much and it all revolved around her. She held a special power that everyone was either after or needed. She was the fucking hero and what was a hero without a villain right? Her life and those around her would be destined to suffer heartache after heartache, threat after threat, and neither she nor they would ever have peace.

Regina was right. Once a Queen fell it was pretty much game over. She was the Savior and if taking herself out of the damn game wasn't the ultimate act of saving everyone then they were all lost anyways. At least she got to be with her son and her parents for awhile….and Regina. They really had made a hell of a team.

Her eyes closed and tears spilled down her cheeks as she remembered the look of utter devastation in those deep chocolate eyes. She'd known all along. Deep down, she'd known who held her heart almost this entire time. No one challenged her like Regina and though she'd lost it for a little while there, she'd done everything out of love for Henry. But it somewhere between almost losing Henry the first time and Neverland, she'd realized that her life and everyone surrounding her would constantly be in jeopardy. Even Regina's.

She prayed the brunette and her son would forgive her for this. Ironically, she didn't much care what her parents thought. Or maybe not so ironic. They did put her in a fucking tree and left her on her own in a cruel and cold world only minutes after her birth. She looked up at the rather magnificent tree she was leaning against and snorted. "Started with a tree and will end with a tree," she murmured to herself.

Taking a deep breath she flipped the safety off and put the gun to her temple. Part of her was surprised at how steady her hand was, but then her musings had lead to her crystal clear revelation in the diner. She really had only two clear paths ahead of her...lose herself as Regina had or spare everyone-herself included years of heartache by doing this. She had long ago been resigned to her fate as the Savior, and now she was resigned to carrying out her final act as such. Closing her eyes, she felt a sense of peace fill her. A sad smile lifted her lips as she thought of the two most important people in her life and pulled the trigger.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So for all of you who are following all my stories...OMG a chapter each for three of my stories! Happy Holidays. Anyway, I'm still working through some demons and this is the result of that. This was story was originally only going to be an open ended one-shot, and I still don't know for sure where this will be going. But for all you people who are suckers for dark angst...here you go. DARK CONTENT WARNING...same as the first chapter. Also this was written in a bit of a rush late this evening so I apologize for any mistakes.**

**==^^SQSQSQSQSQ^^==**

"EMMA NO!" Regina screamed as she lunged desperately towards the blonde. Her hands closed on smoke and air and she sank to her knees with an inhuman howl of despair.

Everyone stared in shock as the former Evil Queen broke down in front of them over the Savior's intent to kill herself. Heart wrenching sobs began to spill from her lips just as the bell over the door jingled and an excited Henry came skidding into the diner. "Moms! Guess what I f-"

He stumbled to a halt, taking in the scene around him. His mother was hunched over in the middle of the diner, sobbing her heart out and everyone was sitting there with horrified and stunned looks on their faces, most of them crying silently as well. His entrance finally shook a few out of their shock and Archie scrambled to his feet as Ruby rushed forward to drop next to Regina.

"Mom? MOM?! What's wrong? What happened?!" he asked in rising panic.

"Henry maybe you should give your mom some room-," Archie said gently as he tried to pull the boy away. But Henry had gotten strong enough now to shake the older man off.

The teen threw his arms around his mother, tears in his eyes as he looked at Ruby for an explanation. But he waitress was choking back her own sobs as she tried to help comfort his distraught mother and everyone else still seemed to be in too much shock. Anger swept through the teen and he surged to his feet, looking every bit like his mother in that moment as he turned in a slow circle.

"What the HELL happened here? Did someone hurt my mom?!"

Everyone gaped at the boy who was standing protectively over his mother with a glare that rivaled that Evil Queen's. Archie tried to placate the youth. "No one's hurt your mother Henry-"

"WHERE'S EMMA?!" he demanded. Eyes shifted away from him, and Archie struggled to contain his own tears and Henry suddenly felt light headed. "No," he whispered hoarsely as a feeling of dread fill his stomach.

His mother's sobs increased and he dropped to his knees and gently grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to him. "Mom? Mom I'm here. Mom…please….where's Ma?" he asked, his young voice tight and cracking.

"She's gone," was all she could get out before she fell against him, her hands gripping him desperately.

"Ruby please! What happened? RUBY! Snap out of it!" he shouted at the wolf.

She wiped her face and took a deep shuddering breath. "Henry, Emma feels that everyone's fate is being orchestrated like a game. She thinks that if she takes herself out of the picture, that it will stop all of…this."

"What?!" he gasped.

"Your mom tried to stop her Henry, but Emma froze all of us and then magic'd herself away."

"When?"

"Just before you got here."

"We have to stop her! Mom….mom!" he said gently shaking his mother as he tried ot get through to her.

"Mom!" he finally screamed at her shaking her a little more roughly as she continued in her downward spiral of grief. Her eyes snapped upwards and finally locked on his and he reached up to wipe at her tears. "Mom we have to stop Ma and I need you right now."

"How Henry? I have no idea where she is right now?" she croaked out.

As Henry spurred a hope of rescue in everyone, people finally began to shake themselves free of their stupor and Archie knelt next to them. "Emma would go somewhere where she would feel safe and at peace," he told them knowingly.

Regina hesitated, but Henry stared at her with desperate eyes and she finally forced her grief back into the box inside her heart and pushed herself to her feet as she wiped her face dry. "Red, your with me. Henry you will stay here with Archie," she ordered, as the Queen took over.

"But mom-"

"No Henry! You will stay here."

"Henry, your mother is right. You should stay here," Archie intervened. If Regina was too late that was not something the boy needed to see. He met Regina's gaze. "We'll keep him here."

"Henry I want you to think of places you might know where Emma might go. I already have a few ideas, but if they don't turn anything up I will call you."

"Ok. Please find her mom," he whispered, the reality of the whole situation slamming into him. She hugged him fiercely and then laid a hand on Red's shoulder and they disappeared in a purple cloud.

**==^^QSQSQSQSQ^^==**

Red and Regina reappeared and looked around the spot that had been Henry's favorite place to hide….his 'castle'. "Red?"

The tall woman pulled her cape off and handed it off to Regina and closed her eyes as she called her wolf close to the surface. She inhaled deeply and then shook her head. "She hasn't been here anytime recently."

Regina nodded and clamped a hand on the younger woman's shoulder and transported them to the next spot. Time and again they reappeared in a new place, but none of them yielded any results. It had been about five minutes now, and they had checked in with Henry who had also gotten in touch with Snow and David, but none of the places they came up with turned anything up. And to complicate matters Red was starting to get nauseas from the rapid transporting.

Regina hung up after her third call with Henry and looked around desperately, tears in her eyes again. "Where IS she? How can she do this to everyone?" she exclaimed frustrated.

Red straightened from where she'd been bent over, forcing herself to take large breaths as she fought to stop the spinning in her head. "We've been all over town, she has to be in the woods somewhere."

"But WHERE Red? The woods span for miles!"

Red was silent for a minute as she got a distant look. "When I've run before, during Wolf's time, I've caught her scent near a meadow on the far west side. Do you know where that is?"

Regina scowled a bit. "Isn't that where the Snow Queen was hidden out?"

"Once she took over that part of the forest…yeah."

"I can get us into that general area, but I don't know of the-"

"Just get me within a mile or two of her," Red cut in as she clamped her hand on Regina's shoulder.

A moment later they rematerialized and Red couldn't fight the nausea again. She staggered to a nearby tree and lost her dinner, but forced herself straight as quickly as possible and whipped her head towards the west. "She's not far!" she exclaimed as she started running. "Follow me!"

Regina watched the young woman give herself over to her wolf mid-stride, and had the situation not have been so dire, she would have been in awe of the beauty of the transformation. Regina struggled to keep up and had to resort to magically trailing after the powerful wolf as she flew through the forest at a breakneck pace.

The rapid teleportations were starting to take their toll, but Regina pushed her growing fatigue down as they raced towards their goal. Up ahead she saw the trees beginning to thin out and in the distance the darkness of the night was broken by moonlight streaming into a clearing. A faint shadow moved at the base of a massive and gnarled tree, and there was a brief reflection off a metallic object. Time slowed as Red's body coiled and then launched towards that shadow as Regina's hand lifted in a desperate attempt to hurl a spell that would stop what would happen.

It was the span of a heartbeat and the span of a lifetime.

For a single moment there was absolute silence and then all the peace was shattered as a single gunshot rang out just as Red's body slammed into Emma's the same time the magic hit both of them. Regina watched as Emma's body jerked at the moment of impact, and saw the spray of a fine red mist as went still beneath Red.

Regina was instantly on her knees helping to roll the stunned and struggling Red off Emma's body. The tang of copper was in the air, and with shaking hands she gently rolled the blonde mother of her son over onto her back and then jerked her hands back as red warmth drenched them. "No," she exhaled as if punched, staring at the blood coating her hands. "No,no,no,no,noNONONONONOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed until her voice broke and gave way to the tears once more.

Beside her Red lifted her head to howl her own grief at the cold heavens above. They had been too late.


End file.
